There’s always a point where you have to stop and ask yourself why am I doing this? Not in a why the hell am I still doing this way, but more of a what does this mean to me way.
I think I’m at that point right now.
After almost 2 and a half years of blogging in total, and a lifetime worth of writing, I still don’t have an answer to my question.
I sat down today to find out.
My mom said always says that I loved to write. A lot of people actually told me that when I was little. I would always do extra credit writing assignments when I was in 4th grade and I distinctly recall that one day my English teacher stopped and told me that my essay was amazing.
It’s those little moments when people praise my writing that I remember. Not whenI played with dolls or jumped in a puddle. I think that’s when I started noticing that writing was my passion.
I actually remember this one day my relative asked me what I liked to do and I thought of all the cool things I could say to impress her; I ended up telling her that I loved to write stories.
I think it’s always been in me. When I look back I see myself stuck in a book or writing some essay that my teacher assigned. And I always had so much fun doing it.
The act of writing down something seems like a finalizing step for the idea. Does that even make sense? It’s like when you get an idea for a story or post or anything, in fact, you always have to write it down to finalize it.
A contract, a to-do list, a blog post, anything and everything is written down.
I also find blogging very helpful in a social way. I’m a loud person, but I don’t really say what my deep thoughts are (I know, so white girl of me), and I think blogging really helped me with that.
When I write something like this, or an open letter, or anything, I’m putting a thought out there and sharing it with the world. Not my small group of friends, no, the world, and that’s something I would have never been able to do without this platform.
Many bloggers can also relate to the therapeutic feeling of finishing a blog post and scheduling another. It’s almost like the feeling you get when you watch one of those satisfying videos on youtube, just endless bliss.
This is a bit of a weird one too, but I really love hearing the tap tap tap of the keyboard when I write, or look at how the pen presses onto the paper. I think those little things are quirks only writers notice.
That’s all I wanted to say in this post. I know it’s a bit all over the place and didn’t make that much sense, but I just wanted to free write all my thoughts in one place so I can look back at it later in my life.
Much love, Rawan