I Know I’m Fat, You Don’t Have to Tell Me

Oh, yeah. It’s time for this post. Time to tackle the elephant in the room.

Do you know how many times someone has called me fat or chubby these past few weeks? Way too many.

I’m fat, I’m not big boned or any of those other lame ass excuses; I know I’m fat and I most certainly don’t appreciate you telling me that I am. I already know this information. It’s basically like going up to someone and telling them that they have skin on their body.

Ugh, and the worst thing is that even my teachers at school are saying this. Just read… I don’t want the intro to be 300 words long.

So as I mentioned in the intro, some of my teachers have mentioned that I’m ‘fat’ before, well more recently.

One of them was my old PE teacher. She really had it out for me. I’m the awkward fat tall girl that doesn’t do much in PE and she just didn’t like me for some reason. I wasn’t comfortable in her class, and that’s that.

She’s always mentioned that I should work out more and that I could be beautiful one day. The last one really hit me that day. I was feeling great, more myself than I’ve felt in weeks, but then she dropped that comment and as you can imagine, I wasn’t really happy about it. I just shut my mouth and nodded that day, and ugh.

She doesn’t teach at my school anymore, which I’m happy about I guess, but her comment won’t really be forgotten.

That was only one of the little conversations that she and I had, but it was by far the most pleasant.

Now we have a new PE teacher and this one is even worse than the other. She literally walked up to me and said ‘Wow, you’re so big. How did you get so big? Were you put back a grade?’

This was in front of my group of friends, and they all just burst out laughing. The teacher didn’t really get the idea to, I don’t know, STOP. She just kept insisting that I was put back a grade, which was the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me at the time.

Not to mention, a lot of shit has been changing in life and I wasn’t really in the mindset of ignoring her comment, so I just kind of had a bad day through and through.

I know I should be comfortable with my body yada yada, but I can’t help but just feel down when people point it out. If you had a pimple, and throughout the day you just kind of forget about it but then some asshole points it out, you’re not gonna feel very good, right? Well, it’s the same idea, just on a bigger scale.

Most of my friends have the ‘ideal’ body type, or are close to what I want to be, , which is basically kind of short and curvy-ish, so I can’t help but feel like I’m sticking out like a sore thumb when I’m hanging out with them because I’m this tall girl with big hips and small boobs. I just look out of place.

This post is seriously revealing some of my most inner thoughts and I don’t know how I feel about it.

Do any of you just wish that you can wake up in a different body? because that’s basically what I have to live with every day.

That’s all I have to say today. Till next time…

Much love, Rawan